It's Ratchet, We Know: El Patio

Updated: Apr 12

El Patio is ratchet, there’s no way around it. However, this place is one of the most wonderfully fun places Miami has to offer. It’s a weird balance between a girl’s leg up on a table to help her dance and couples dancing salsa in ways your Abuela would be proud.

I swear, the sun goes down and people go crazy.

Here’s the lowdown:


Where: 167 NW 23rd St, Miami, FL 33127


How: There is street parking at Wynwood but, unless you’re the designated driver, take Uber or Lyft sweetie.


When: Sundays, during World Cup games, or Happy Hour (5-9 p.m.)


Who: Anyone who is okay with hearing Spanish music (salsa, merengue, bachata, reggaeton, etc.) for majority of the day. As in, you might hear Controlla by Drake once and then it’s back to Nicky Jam.


What to wear:

· Don’t wear jeans or pants, you’re going to sweat your life away.

· Ladies, if you can wear a backless top or crop top or something with spaghetti straps, even better. You’re going to sweat.

· If you’re planning on wearing heels, at least go for wedges or just stick with sandals. It’s impossible to not dance, and you’re going to hate yourself if you don’t partake. So just go in comfortable shoes, you can go heel-less for one day.

· Wear shorts if you can, wear a dress and you might flash someone unintentionally.

· Gentlemen, remember you will sweat so maybe go for a shirt or button down that won’t cause you too much claustrophobia.

If El Patio sold the merchandise that the employees wear, I'd buy it.

Overall notes:

· There’s cover at some point in the afternoon, either after 3 or 4 p.m. Nothing wrong with getting there a little earlier to avoid cover (usually $30+).

· If you do get charged with cover, you get PatioBucks, which is money you can use inside for your drinks. So it’s not a total rip-off.

· There’s 5 beers for $5 and $5 cocktails from 5 - 9 p.m., even on Saturdays. What else can you ask for?!

· Don’t come if you’re planning on judging people for enjoying the music. People will dance with their friends, dance with strangers, meet new people, and everyone will get sweaty since it’s Miami and you can’t ask for anything else.


You might even be surprised how long you’ll be there. No regrets Monday morning though, see you there next Sunday!

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